‘This term we have been looking at ways to make our writing more interesting for the reader.
We have used the following criteria to guide us:
- Changing the word order of a sentence
- Using literary devices such as metaphor, simile, alliteration, onomatopoeia and personification
- Using specific verbs and adjectives
- Using show, don’t tell techniques
- Using different sentence beginnings and lengths
Here are some examples of my writing this term.
Show, Don’t Tell - Emotions
Happy: I gave a massive smile to my mum and dad on the sideline. Our team was
cheering. We all had red faces and sweat pouring down our cheeks like a waterfall. I ran over to my mum and dad and gave them a big hug.
tired: “What a day” I flop on to the sofa with bags under my eyes, I try to keep them open but it's to hard to resist. I slip away from the world. Then all of a sudden a dog in my dreams wakes me up. I find my dog linking my face.
sad:We had been waiting for hours to get a bite,I finally got one! I started to wind my reel in. It was big I could feel it. I was pulling my hardest on the rod. It finally started to wind in ,when I got to the end of the line I saw that the fish had bitten through the line.
Music writing
The Crazy Flight
Worried the pilot rushed lots and lots of people onto his blimp. When the people got into the blimp they saw tables with food and drinks scattered across the room. They thought it would be a lovely ride. When the blimp lifted into the air it was calm,Then all of a sudden the ride started to get bumpy, the blimp was swerving like crazy. The passengers were getting scared the blimp was now heading towards the ground like a bird diving into water. The pilot's door opened and he quickly grabbed a parachute and jumped out of the blimp.The passengers looked around for another parachute but there was only one and the pilot took it. They were trapped they were all going to die then all of a sudden the blimp started to pitch up the passengers started celebrating. One of the passengers knew how to fly a blimp and landed it safely on the ground. Later that day the pilot turned himself in and had to stay in jail for 6 years. All the passengers celebrated that night with their families.
Picture Prompt
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Swiftly I run out the back gate “I can’t believe how mean mike is”! “He stole my lunch money and called me names! I can’t wait till One of these days someone stands up to him”! I started to punch and kick a bush “ahhhhh! Tears started to ran down my face like a river. I never want to come back to school ever again! Then a teacher grabs my hand “John has mike been mean to you again” “yes he stole my lunch money Jeff it’s all right I will sort it out.Swiftly I run out the back gate “I can’t believe how mean mike is”! “He stole my lunch money and called me names! I can’t wait till One of these days someone stands up to him”! I started to punch and kick a bush “ahhhhh! Tears started to ran down my face like a river. I never want to come back to school ever again! Then a teacher grabs my hand “John has mike been mean to you again” “yes he stole my lunch money and called me names and I never want to come to school ever again!” “ Jeff it’s all right I will sort it out.
Viking Girl
I throw my bag on the floor and slam my bedroom door behind me. I start crying “Why can’t people just leave me alone. “I wonder Why I can't get dressed up as a viking without being picked on. “People are so judgy these days”! Bags under my eyes I try to stop crying but I just can’t. I feel like everybody is mean to me just because I like getting dressed up.
By Tukotahi